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Date Stated: 4/18/15 | Time: 11:12 AM | Location: Kitchen 3881 388 Grand Ave Oakland, Ca | Track Of The Day: Caught Out There – Kelis2 | Signature Drink Of The Day: Peet s Coffee: Major Dickinson Blend3 | Event: East Bay MS Walk4 x Saturday Morning Breakfast.

DBxCo Tip: Always allow Karma to do your true dirty work. If you must seek revenge make it artistic.

It seems as if not so cute luck (I don t like the term bad) was the theme of the morning. I d gone out at 8am to Lake Merritt5 with My Mom and Freddy to join in on the MS walk6 in support of My Mom s good friend Sarah and her husband Dave who has MS.

The morning got off to a somewhat rocky start being that Mother Nature showed up last night with my curse, I mean excuse me my gift as they call it on those television tampax ads7, which already puts me in a place of not wanting to go anywhere or do anything until the storm has passed but naturally I let nothing get in the way of commitments that I ve made.

So I get myself together make two to go coffees and run out of the door. I guzzle down my cup of black in the backseat of the car on the way to the lake aware of the fact that the day will literally stop until I ve been caffeinated. We arrive, we park, and get out to arrange ourselves.

As we re piling my necessities into my mothers Mini Cooper backpack8, things like my compact mirror, lip gloss, Sony lens9, and mints you know things I need out in nature, my mother tilts her to go cup and vanilla treated coffee begins dripping down the side of her jacket, a true FML moment (flashbacks from my childhood, you understand). Anyways this twist her up into a mood. As I try to help clean up the mess she protest that she no longer wants the coffee because the cup is sticky and pours it out into the street.

As I stand by and watch what I got up 15 minutes earlier to make be drained onto the gravel I mentally state and affirm,

“I will not allow this to make me dramatic today.

Checking myself and trying to hold fast to a good mood I walk on. We cut through some grass on a mission to the bandstand10 where all the other MS walkers are meeting, we hit a pathway and I step over a used birth control contraceptive, and my mother accidentally kicks what looks to be a water bottle of pee, as I take a call from my sister and we laugh about songs we d written as children, one in particular titled Black Harmonies , I Say “What the hell were we trying to create a negro anthem?!?”

We laugh and walk and I talk and blah blah blah

We reach the bandstand and we re the 1st to arrive from our group, we walk around to see no tables with our group s name on it so we simply stand off to the side which allots me a little time to take shoe Selfies & Snapchat.

At last the key components of our team arrive, Sarah & Dave.

They re informed that we don t have a table and they ask someone the reasoning behind it. The answer received, It s because you must raise $5,000 or more for special treatment of a table and a tent. We were obviously a couple thousand short.

Ok very well! We make our own section out of an unused picnic table beneath the shade of a couple of trees.

They lay out our team Tinsley shirts, set out the doughnut boxes and here comes Hannah (Sarah and Dave s daughter) and Co. with a couple of Starbucks cartons full of hot coffee.

Things are beginning to look up!! Everyone stands around and chats and cracks jokes and laugh over hot coffee and chocolate, plain glazed, and blueberry cake doughnuts, as some outfit themselves in our matching shirts and orange MS themed beads, while the MS Walk MC of the day talks over the mic about things that obviously concerns no one in my group.

Sarah looks around to see other groups stretching and mimicking movements directed by the MC which sparks a conversation that goes like this: Sarah: “Our team doesn t do exercise stretches We eat doughnuts.
My Mom: well we re experienced walkers, we don t need to do that.
Sarah s sister: Yeah and in the afternoon, we have cocktails..
Sarah: Yeah Youlonda are you guys coming over after this, you know we ve got catered food and plenty of wine and beer?

(Youlonda = My Mom) I knew right then and there that God had placed me on the right team !!!! (Praise Him)

We eventually begin the walk, we head in a northeast direction (I m assuming I really know absolutely nothing in regards to longitude and/or latitude) up a pathway where several people and Girl Scouts (with no cookies) stand on a sideline and cheer us on and I m thinking to myself,

Ok what the hell is going on? This looks serious and I really didn t sign up for a real thing.

I thought this was a causal stroll type of deal. I love a good hard walk as much as the next gal but not today.

So we go on and take the 1 Mile route that our group opted in for and after all of a 2-3 minute walk we re abruptly and fairly awkwardly stopped mid path by a tent and table full of bottled waters and a 1 Mile Turnaround point sign stationed in front an algae filled portion of the lake that s acting as a ducks final resting place (Yes, there was a dead duck floating there). But side note: Please don t allow the troubling portions of this story to deter you from visiting Lake Merritt (the used ground condom, bottle of maybe Pee, and dead duck), The Lake is truly a beautiful and enchanting location that I seriously adore, you just get some surprises sometimes but I mean what s life without a few surprises?!

That s right Dull ! So in any event being that we are true to life serious walkers we decided to walk on. (My Mother, my sister, and I have a mean power walk game, it s a regular persons heavy jog, mostly because I don t do the running thing I m more of a only run if I m being chased kinda gal.)

We strike on beyond the 1 mile turnaround station, as we pass a couple of homeless folk still fast asleep on benches and a few sprawled out in grass taking their breakfast, we begin passing a slew of Individuals coming toward us from the opposite direction who obviously took the 5k route, we strike on against the crowd eventually walking the entire lake and straight toward our car.

We really didn t see a need to go back to our makeshift MS clubhouse table/doughnut & coffee shop stop. We d fulfilled our obligation of donated time & money. And so we get in the car & put that semi odd situation behind us as we pull onto Grand ave.

and right up to Kitchen 38811 to grab breakfast. Sidenote: We have a mild discrepancy with Park Mobile12 which I won t even get into, suffice to say it was definitely a user s error, however I will take this time to recommend it, it makes paid parking easier for the changeless.

Anyway my mom and I venture into 388 & take a seat at the table Freddy s gotten near the food prep station.

We place our orders with our server who seems friendly enough. I order the fruit and granola bowl.

A girl seated behind us was a like minded little thing obviously because as she and several other patrons seated after us (who also ordered after us) receive their meals we notice her largely portioned bowl of yogurt, granola and fruit and Freddy ask, Is that what you ordered?!”I excitingly respond


2 minutes later our food arrives presented by 2 girls who aren t our server and homegirl places my bowl in front of me and it looks NOTHING like the delight behind me in front of the like minded white girl who s bowl we were checking out earlier . Hmmm I say as I sit back and ask my mom and Freddy curiously,

How come mine doesn t look like hers?

Hers = a larger bowl (like that pictured below), a wider assortment of fruit, with a healthy portion of yogurt poured on top.

(note: image above used only to depict size of bowl.)

Mine = only strawberry and mango light yogurt and hella granola.
So we ask the girl when she comes back how come mine looks different her response,

Oh sometimes we run out of big bowls so we serve them in smaller bowls but it s the same portion, they measure.. My Mother states: Well I watched her make it & I didn t see her measure anything.

Remember we re seated near the food prep station.. I look at her and at my bowl and at her again she states, I can pour yours into a bigger bowl if you d like

Which would essentially mean that I m getting the same thing just transferred into the larger bowl that you should have served me in the 1st place. Uh no thanx. My mother, who s clearly upset at this point and ready to serve them one of her specialties called, Making a scene”, ask me
Are you okay, you want another one with more in it, in a bigger bowl Or do you want me to make a scene?” She s such a good mother.
I calmly state no and feast on my bowl as Freddy points out that a guy behind us is being served right at this moment the same thing that I ordered in the same bowl as the girl behind me, his ethnicity You guessed it, White.

Excuse me, Caucasian.

Freddy states,
“We ll come back next week with our signs that say #BlackLivesMatter !! I mean I m not trying to make this a race thing but obviously she, as in homegirl who waited on us, was. Nevertheless I already had it made up in my mind that I wouldn t trouble anyone any further with servicing me because all I could see in my 3rd eye was a sign that s stationed outside of Mama Rosa s Pizza on High Street that reads, YELP13 IS THE ONLINE MAFIA” in other words Yelp can ruin you.

I knew just who to call on and what to do. So I sat quietly, ate from my small bowl smilingly, and plotted my revenge which takes form artistically here by informing you all to NEVER dine there if you love me and even if you don t. I ve BLACKlisted them and I ve taken all of my emotions to YELP where I told the world my truth as oppose to just making one scene that could only be witnessed by the patrons of the day. YELP REVIEWS LIVE FOREVER.1514

And okay so I looked a little homeless chic in my #LLF16 sweatie with an oversize white t-shirt beneath, complete with black leggings and neon orange Nike sneaks on my feet?

Haven t you ever heard of not judging a book by it s cover or in this case not judging an empress by her understated wardrobe?!?

Big mistake b*tch of Kitchen 388. Now I hate you and I ll never return. That is all.

I ve got other things to do now so bye!

Darling Bonnie17 | DarlingSociety.com18


  1. ^ Kitchen 388 (
  2. ^ Caught Out There – Kelis (
  3. ^ Peet s Coffee: Major Dickinson Blend (
  4. ^ East Bay MS Walk (
  5. ^ Lake Merritt (
  6. ^ MS walk (
  7. ^ television tampax ads (
  8. Mini Cooper backpack (
  9. ^ Sony lens (
  10. ^ bandstand (
  11. ^ Kitchen 388 (
  12. ^ Park Mobile (
  13. ^ YELP (
  14. ^ YELP (
  16. ^ #LLF (
  17. ^ Darling Bonnie (
  18. ^ (

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